Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
