Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
