And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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