Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
