those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
