I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
