Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
