Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from England

Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.

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(239): View more from Florida

she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols

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(701): View more from North Dakota

She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.

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(410): View more from Maryland

SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't text me with that hand

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(260): View more from Indiana

I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra

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(317): View more from Indiana

Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success

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(519): View more from Ontario

I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.

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