I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
