She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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