i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Every concussion has its silver lining
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
