waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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