the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Sorry about my life...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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