it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
