I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There r osticjed everywhere
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
