Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
