best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
