No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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