You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
