i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
