If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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