I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
