he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
