im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i came on her dog
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
