my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
