Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
