You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
