But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My balls are so social today.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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