Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
