Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
this beer tastes like vomit already
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
