Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
