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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  how do you spell 'special'? like slow?

  (210): View more from Texas

  S P E L L C H E C K

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  No you dumbass thats not right

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  engineering majors are such efficient drunks.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We have your weave and dirt in our room.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to

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• (707): View more from California

  I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.

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• (650): View more from California

  she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".

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