I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
you never un-have a 4some
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
