and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
