i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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