...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
