This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
