Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
