Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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