You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
