He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You're like the curious george of whores
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
