i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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