..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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