Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
