im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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