I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
