it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I will pee on everything he values.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
