the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
