wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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