I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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